My Son's Meeting with His Birth Mom - An Adoption Story - The Dream Village

My Son's Meeting with His Birth Mom -- An Adoption Story

An Adoption Story submitted by Founder, Trisha LaCoste

“When can I meet my birth mom?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this over the last several years. Jayden has always known he’s adopted. We’ve always talked openly about his birth mom. I even have a photo on my dresser of her holding Jayden as a baby. I always tell him how lucky he is to have three moms who love him… a birth mom, an adoptive mom, and a step mom. 

So after talking to Jayden’s dad and step mom, we decided a meeting was long overdue.

Jayden was very quiet when we got to the meeting spot and I could see his wheels spinning. He anxiously watched the door waiting for her to walk in. He leaned over to get a better angle of the door every time it opened.

And then she was there!

The question of the last decade was answered: When can I meet my birth mom? Today, baby. Today is the day. This is Alicia. 

I made the introductions and we chatted for 2 hours. Alicia’s step mom (who was an integral part of Jayden’s adoption) was there, too. I was grateful for her because she carried the conversation when I got lost in my own thoughts. Jayden answered any questions that were asked of him with a soft, “Yes, ma’am.” He was very reserved compared to his normal rambunctious, 12-year-old self. But every once in a while his typical grin would erupt from the recesses of his over-processed thoughts. 

I saw the joy in Alicia’s face just being in his presence. She watched his every move without making it obvious. She was just a child when she had Jayden… but seeing the adult version of her made my heart soar. She’s a mom. She’s a hard worker. She’s learning all the things life teaches us as we age. And it made me so proud to be in her presence. 

What do you say to the woman who gave her child to you?

A woman who made the hardest decision of her life to make sure her son had the best one possible? How do you convey the gratitude in your heart for one of the greatest blessings of your life? A blessing that was only made possible through her painful sacrifice? 

There’s no way to thank her for my son. There’s no way to express the magnitude of the gratitude in my heart. But I know the LEAST I can do is let her know him, too. Allowing her into Jayden’s life isn’t a threat to me. She will never replace me and I will never replace her. We each have a place in his life… and there’s enough love to go around! 

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that Jayden no longer has to wonder what Alicia looks like or what her voice sounds like. He can now say that he has his birth mom’s smile. He knows. He’s seen it! The unknown is now known and I’m certain Jayden has a peace that I could never give him. And for me, that is PRICELESS.


An Adoption Story - Meet the Nolens - The Dream Village

An Adoption Story -- Meet the Nolens

An Adoption Story submitted by Cheryl Nolen

Our daughter, Whitney, is adopted. We brought her home from the hospital when she was 3 days old.

We were infertility patients and had tried every procedure available to help us conceive. After 8 years of medical intervention to help us, my doctor had a very honest discussion about our specific issues. He encouraged us to adopt because he firmly believed we would never have success in having a biological child. After all we’d been through I finally felt resolved about being a mother to a child born by someone else.

We used Adoption Advisory whose offices were in Dallas. From start to finish our process took approximately 2 years. We actually tried many other agencies for over a year before that.

When we went to the hospital to get Whitney, we were over the moon with excitement and anticipation. When they brought her through the door of the waiting room, we thought she had to be the most perfect, beautiful baby ever born.

Whitney was a challenge early on. Her strong will constantly forced us to draw on reserves of patience that we never knew existed. She struggled with rejection from birth parents during her teen years, wondering why she was “given away.” We told her that God chose to make her ours so that she’d have a good life.

I haven’t met or spoken to her, but Whitney has met her birth mother, as well as her parents. It was mostly a positive experience. She feels strongly that she and her boys need to enjoy a strong relationship with us in spite of knowing her birth family.

Before we adopted Whitney, we were actually matched with a different birth mother but it all fell apart when the child was born. The birth mother pulled out of her agreement with the agency and chose to pursue a private adoption. We never knew why, except our trust was in God that He had a different plan for a different child for us.

There were times during the difficult teen years that I wondered if God had chosen the wrong parents for Whitney. As an adult with children of her own, Whitney and I see that God does all things well. We can see that so clearly as we look back.

After Whitney was almost 4, we had a very big surprise- I had a baby boy, Spencer! I can say sincerely that I love them both the same, no matter how they came to us. We never dwelled on Whitney being adopted and people were always surprised to learn that. God chose to build our family differently, so we accepted His will. We feel so blessed to have had the children He gave us.

 

Do you have an adoption story you want to share? Whether you are an adoptee or an adoptive parent, we want to hear about your journey. Submit your story here!